It hasn't been easy. Marriage is hard, but marriage to a police officer is even harder. Shift work, hypervigilance, mood swings, and risk have been a big part of the life I live with my officer. But with the right mindset, it can be done, and it can be done well. A CHiP on my Shoulder: How to Love Your Cop with Attitude provides true stories from several marriages, positive thoughts and proven principles on how to make a law enforcement marriage not only survive its difficulties, but thrive in the midst of them

~~In October 1969, Captain William Albracht, the youngest Green Beret captain in Vietnam, took command of a remote hilltop outpost called Fire Base Kate, held by only 27 American soldiers and 150 Montagnard militiamen. He found their defenses woefully unprepared. At dawn the next morning, three North Vietnamese Army regiments--some 6,000 men--crossed the Cambodian border and attacked. Outnumbered three dozen to one, Albracht's men held off repeated ground assaults by communist forces with fierce hand-to-hand fighting, air support and a dangerously close B-52 strike. For days, the NVA blanketed Kate in a rain of rockets, mortars, artillery, machineguns, and small arms, blocking efforts to resupply, reinforce, or evacuate the outpost. Albracht continually exposed himself to enemy fire to direct air strikes, to guide re-supply helicopters, to distribute ammunition and water to his men, to retrieve the dead and to rescue the wounded, often shielding men with his own body. Wounded by rocket shrapnel, he refused medical attention or evacuation. Exhausted from days without sleep, he continued to rally his men to beat off each new enemy attack. After five days, Kate's defenders were out of ammo and water. Aerial resupply was suicidal, and reinforcements were denied by military commanders who had written off Kate. Albracht refused to surrender or die in place. Refusing to allow his men to surrender, Albracht led his troops, including many wounded, off the hill and on a daring night march through enemy lines. Abandoned in Hell is an astonishing memoir of leadership, sacrifice, and brutal violence, a riveting journey into Vietnam's heart of darkness, and a compelling reminder of the transformational power of individual heroism. Not since Lone Survivor and We Were Soldiers Once, And Young has there been such a gripping and authentic account of battlefield courage.

 Reviews

-"Compelling. These are the words and emotions and guts of a man who has been there and you can feel the authenticity in every sentence." -- Ben Stein - Writer, Actor, Celebrity 

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-"Just when you think all the honest writers who captured all the great regions of this country have disappeared and too much American writing these days is shallow stuff, off key, set in the land of nowhere, a writer like Jimmy Blackmon crops up in that fertile literary soil of the South—Wendell Berry, Reynolds Price, Eudora Welty, Faulkner, Harper Lee, Walker Percy and others--reminding us again of the verities and virtues of the true tale, told by a man rooted in place, who sings the South like a hymn. You will find your own voice joining in, page after page. " -- Norbert Blei, author of THE DOOR COUNTY TRILOGY and other works 

-"Jimmy Blackmon is an American warrior in the best sense of the word. He has gone a long way in this world, but he has never forgotten that the red clay of his beloved Gordon County, Georgia is where it began and where his heart remains. His is a story of good times, good people and good memories. His is a story best told by a Southerner. Blackmon tells it well." -- Dick Yarbrough, Author and Syndicated Columnist

Karen Lansing; "The Cop Whisperer"

I have had an interesting life and one that has been blessed by God is so many ways. From getting run over by a farm tractor at age 6, to 3 heart attacks in 17 days at 39, on to getting run down by a hit and run driver and left for dead at age 50 to working through Leukemia today, my faith has continued to grow and now I want to share that experience with others who might be questioning their own faith and Christian spirituality.

You were trained for law enforcement.

You learned how to pursue criminals and investigate crimes. You've been trained in tactics, radio codes, and officer safety. You know the law. You were issued the tools needed to succeed and the training on how to use them. Your experience has honed these skills.

Have you trained for a lifelong commitment to another?

Marriage is difficult. Merging two individuals into one life takes commitment, humility, and communication. Most couples don't receive training on how to do marriage well. What happens is a lot of guesswork, trial and error, and oftentimes, hurt.

As an officer, trooper, deputy, agent, or dispatcher, who you are tends to spill over into other roles off duty, and some aspects of this job complicate your relationships at home. A Marriage in Progress contains tactical and strategic principles for great relationships as a peace officer.

You sacrifice a lot for this career.

Don't sacrifice your family, too.

A Marriage in Progress – Tactical Support for Law Enforcement Relationships is the law enforcement training manual for off-duty life. Written specifically to and for officers, Victoria looks at relationships through principles and examples of police training and culture. It includes positive perspectives, real stories, encouragement, practical tools, and personal examples for how to improve your personal life as a member of law enforcement.

What officers say about A Marriage in Progress:

“This book covers more ground than anything available today.” – Oklahoma

“Knocks it out of the park!” – California

 “An unparalleled tool” – Tennessee

“She tells it like it is and doesn’t pull punches” – Texas

 “Takes us to a place where we can walk it through” – California

“Nuggets of pure gold wisdom in a down-to-earth, true-to-life, completely genuine way” – Virginia

“Relevant, relational and resourceful” – Georgia 

“One of the best police family resource books I’ve ever read!”

 National Police Wives Association

Author and speaker Victoria M. Newman has 27 years of marriage with her Chippy, fifteen years of experience coming alongside spouses in family-related problems, and has compiled information from over 1,000 law enforcement families for this work.

The Rite of Return: Coming Back from Duty-Induced PTSD is written for men and women in law enforcement, first response, and the military who are struggling with duty-induced PTSD. In a field-guide format, it presents an overview of a proven treatment approach adapted specifically for this population. The book offers clear teaching on PTSD and its effects on the brain. It also provides practical training in containment techniques for increased control of symptoms and motivation for battling the tendency to isolate. The successful case outcomes described throughout the book give substantive hope for recovery from PTSD. The message throughout is that duty-induced PTSD cannot be resolved in isolation or by reading self-help books. The author’s depth of knowledge and scope of experience evident in every chapter draws the reader confidently into places where the clinical generalist cannot tread. Karen Lansing's understanding of duty-induced PTSD goes beyond a simply clinical perspective. She has been trained in public order, ridden extensively on patrol, done 48-hour tours of duty with firefighters, and has resided and trained alongside special weapons teams on military bases. She has “kitted up” and been stuck into flashpoint sectors in “exotic places” with tactical advisors in troubled regions. The benefits emerging from that cross-pollination of disciplines are apparent in the author's respect and understanding of the specific clinical needs of Warriors and Rescuers. It's seen in her identification of and clinical protocol for the treatment of a rare but deadly post-shooting symptom that she refers to as transitory shooter's apraxia. The benefits are also clearly seen in the clinical outcomes of those featured in this book. The Rite of Return presents a powerful argument that PTSD need not lead to an end of mission or tour of duty, or to a lifelong injury. Instead, case account after case account indicates that Lansing's treatment approach leads to quite the opposite: officers consistently emerging stronger. These outcomes are confirmed throughout the book by the testimony of SPECT brain images before and after treatment. Accompanying them are accounts of subjects after treatment responding successfully to incidents very similar to those that had culminated in their PTSD. These unsung heroes recovered, becoming more competent, more tactically skilled and more mentally resilient than they had been prior to its time-limited, but significant, intrusion into their lives. Reading between the lines of this book, it's apparent that careers and lives have been saved because of the author’s innovative approach. The only regret is that so many have been lost to the devastation of untreated or ill-treated, duty-induced PTSD. The publication of The Rite of Return couldn’t be better timed. Karen Lansing, LMFT, is a Board Certified Expert in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress. An international speaker and trainer, she consults and trains clinicians, police officers, commanders, specialist weapons teams and security advisors in areas of conflict including Northern Ireland, the Middle East, post-conflict Eastern European countries and the United States. She specializes in treating PTSD that develops in the wake of lethal contact and officer involved shootings and all duty-related types of trauma.

Victoria Newman; Co-Author of Selfish Prayer and two other must reads!